i was listening to a screamo song for fun then i heard all this extra yelling that i thought was part of the song but then i realized it was just my family arguing
HARRY POTTER ALPHABET → r
"Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, If you’ve a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind."
Every episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine » The Slump
All I know is my mind was so numb from doing all that boring data entry that my brain kind of rebooted and I had an inspiration about one of my old cases.
ok no but imagine gay cowboys that aren’t “sad about bein gay” cowboys blushing w/ boots going ”i want u to be my partner, partner” “but i AM your partner, partner” “no but like i want you t be my partner partner, partner” “*low whistle* *tips brim of hat to cover blush* well howdy doody” “is that a yeS??? ??”
IT WOULD BE CUTE OK….
Splash Mountain Ride Pictures
theyve started selling lucky charms at tescos and ive never had any american cereal before and it has little tiny marshmallows in it and im haivng heart palpitations this is so sugary my body isnt used to this ive been living off cornflaeks for the last 16 years why are there marshmallows in my cereal who came up with this idea i feel like a bag of sugar just jizzed in my veins there are sweets in my fucking cereal is that even legal im so confused
My friend Dev (she’s not in the tw fandom) found this fucking coke
WITH WHAT’S OBVIOUSLY STILES’ NAME ON IT:
STILES IS UPSET HE DIDN’T FIND IT FIRST
where derek gets a coke and is like, contemplating how he can share it and like stiles is like
OMG MY NAME
and tries to steal it or buy it off derek
who misconstrues and thinks stiles is soliciting him for sex
DEREK IS LIKE
NO THANK YOU
BUT YOU ARE HOT
Derek should be offended. He really really should, but he can’t help feel a little bit smug for…
"How much? Seriously, if it’s reasonable, I’ll pay it," the cute guy repeats and he just looks at Derek excitedly.
He knows it’s not the guy’s fault. Derek was turning on a corner, coming back from the grocery shopping, and ended up bumping into someone - his things ended up everywhere. And then the guy - cute moles, whiskey eyes even under the bad light, messy blowjob hair, lean muscles - grabs one of Derek’s just bought cokes and snaps his head up just looking at Derek with want, saying “how much?”
Derek gets it. He does. He was in a corner and he’s only wearing skinny jeans and a tight black shirt with a lot of holes on it and it’s freaking midnight. He probably does look like a hooker who stopped for a dinner break, considering that his groceries most included sodas and snacks. (And not to be cocky or anything, Derek works out. He knows what he looks like, alright. He might be shy, but he doesn’t lack on self-confidence.)
"Uh," Derek is able to form, when his brain starts working again, because cute guy wants to bone him "I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t be able to do that for money.”
Derek decides to ignore his blush. He is not blushing. And he’s most definitely not thinking that the guy’s frown is cute. Nop.
"Couldn’t you just give it to me, then?" Cute guy says teasing, but he sounds so hopeful and Derek wants to yell hell yeah, I would love to give it to you right here right now, but that would probably go bad; the guy is picking up hookers at a Wednesday night - Derek gets attached and cute guy just wants to fuck around.
"I think you’re really cute, but I can’t. Sorry."
"Why not?" Oh man, cute guy has a really nice confused face. "You have no idea how long I’ve been looking for this, dude!" He even shakes Derek’s coke for emphasis "It has been months and I tried emailing an order for one, ya know, but apparently the minimum is a hundred of them at once and I’m thirsty for it, but not that thirsty! I mean, I thought about throwing a party and just sharing them all, but I thought it might be awkward later? Like, I’ve drank your…”
"I got it!" Derek hurries to interrupt and he’s blushing and ohmygod, he doesn’t know if he’s grossed out or turned on (since when Derek finds orgies hot? This guy is doing things to him!),because apparently cute guy almost paid for a thousand hookers and now is just begging for Derek. “I… I’m flattered that you’re asking it for me, really, but I…”
"I’ll give you a hundred bucks!" Cute guys just cuts him, like he wasn’t even listening. "Just, please…”
Suddenly, Derek doesn’t feel so flattered anymore, because—-
"Only a hundred bucks? Seriously?”
"I think that’s way more than fair!"
"If it was the opposite, how much you think I’d charge you?"
"I don’t know!" Derek yells, "I already said I find you cute! I wouldn’t… But if I would, you’re worth at least a thousand!"
Cute opens his mouth, but abruptly shuts it. ”Did you just say I’m worth a thousand?”
"Not you," he sighs, because he’s already completely red again, "a night with you, like… you know what I mean."
"Uh," cute guy is looking at him like Derek’s completely insane "I don’t think I do. Sooo, let’s make this clear: I was trying to buy your coke, because it has my name on it and you have no idea how hard it is to find a can that says Przemyslaw.”
Derek looks at the coke on cute guy’s - Przemyslaw - hands and…
Oh holy fuckin—-This is awkward.
"Now, please enlighten me with your version of the facts," he continues, because apparently he’s putting things together and enjoying Derek’s embarrassment.
"I… I thought you thought I was a hooker." Przemyslaw just burst out laughing and Derek wants to die. He does. Please bury him. Now. He doesn’t need to go through this shit, he… "Have the can. I’ll just…" kill myself somewhere else.
"Oh no. I get why you thought that… Now that I am replying our conversation, I can see my mistake. How much. Geez, I’m sorry to harass you. Not that it was my intention.”
"It’s fine. I was the one who got everything wrong." Because of course cute guy doesn’t want to sleep with him. Derek has no luck with his love life. "Look, Przemyslaw, I…"
"My name. Stiles. Well, everyone I know call me Stiles. Actually, only three people even know my real name. Well, four now.” Prz… Stiles said smiling. Derek only nodded. “And I know you just said I could have it, but wouldn’t you want to share a coke with me, like it says right here?”
"I thought you were offering me a hundred bucks for sex." Derek blurts out.
"And that’s hilarious. You’re the only person I ever heard saying my name properly. I can’t let you go now." Derek huffs, feeling himself blush again. "Besides, word is on the streets you find me cute."
"I thought you weren’t paying attention to what I was saying."
"Pfff, please. You think I’m worth at least a thousand bucks. I’m keeping you."
Derek rolls his eyes. “Don’t get too excited. Let’s share that coke first, shall we?”
They share the coke. And, in the end, Stiles does keep him.
I LOVE IT WHEN PROMPTS FIND HOMES
"I’m Not Like Other Girls" by Jessa
i’m not like other girls because i don’t go drinking
that life’s not for me
i’d rather read alone than hit up a party
and i still have my purity
and i’ll put myself on a pedestal
because my introversion makes me special
oh my gosh i’m so unconventional
because i’m not like other girls
i’m not like other girls because i don’t drink coffee
and if i do, i take it black
i’d rather drink my tea with lemon and honey
staying off the beaten track
i’m the first girl in the universe to ever like tea
so applaud me for my originality
and ignore my internalized misogyny
because i’m not like other girls
i’m not like other girls cuz i’m a flying tarantula
terrorizing the town
i’m a eight-eyed eight-legged giant spider
so don’t you tear me down
cuz i’ll crash and burn everything in my way
in an effort to be extraordinary
and other girls ain’t got nothin on me
because i’m not like other girls
Told my mum I was kicked in the head at swimming to be greeted with “okay then” as a response. No asking how I am. Just “okay”. Fuck you too mother