this is like a fucking arrested development gag but ITS REAL
when u know u mama mad at u but u gotta walk past her to get food from the kitchen
they’re just… all together
at this very moment
the entire avengers mcu line up
is together again
i ask myself this question everyday
josh ur a sixteen year old boy
don’t label me
Im not plugging my charger into a woman
The last comment actually just killed me.
Why don’t balloons fly when I Blow them up?
Everywhere else they are always floating but mine fall when I blow them up? Is the oxygen in my breathing not good enough? Should I go to a doctor
it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob
what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob
Because we have vaginas
Bucky Barnes is the kind of friend who would draw a dick on Steve’s face if he passed out at a party but if anyone else drew a dick on Steve’s face when he passed out at a party Bucky Barnes would hunt them down and fuck them up.
My Buddhist friend was stopped by a Christian fellowship and asked if she would consider following the word of Jesus Christ. She replied, “No, thanks, but maybe next time around.”
I don’t think they got the joke but I nearly died laughing.
wait what’s the joke
THE COMMENTS ON NASH GRIERS INSTAGRAM ARE MAKING ME PISS MY SELF THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE DESERVES IT. YOUR BLUE EYES CANT GET YOU OUT OF THIS ONE U SHIT
• “At least you’re not dying!”
• “You’re only disabled if you let yourself be.”
• “You need to tell yourself you’re going to get better, else you won’t.”
• “But you can’t be in pain ALL the time, don’t exaggerate.”
• “You don’t LOOK ill.”
• “There’s so many people worse off than you.”
• “I’m sure you don’t REALLY need help.”
• “Sometimes it’s easier to just give up.”
• “Stop being so negative.”
Ted has Alzheimer’s and that’s why he showed up to Robin’s house with the blue French horn, he thought it was the year 2005. Robin calls Tracy to come pick him up, Ted does this every couple of nights.
Submitted by anonmous